poem

Discussion List day-by-day inspires me. (monsieur_champs)

Of course if you have been on a discussion list for more than a few minutes, for sure you saw things like this:

  #!perl # Emacs, this is -*- perl -*-  use warnings;  use strict;  use Person::Stub;  use ACME;  use ACME::Catalog;  my $me = new Person::Stub( 'Luis' );  my $nilson = new Person::Stub( 'Nilson' );  my $acme_factory = new ACME( operator => $me );  my $fire_suit = ACME->factory->build(     $ACME::Catalog->{Suites}{Militar}{FireProof}{Heavy}  );  $me->helps( $nilson->wear( $fire_suit ) );  __END__

-- [monsieur_champs]

I couldn't resist (brig)

This isn't perl but it is about perl and it sprang in my mind all at once. I vaguely recall some poem with the word Nantucket, but cannnot remember it at the moment. This uses the same cadence or whatever poets call that (meter?)

Please don't hate me, I suffered enough using C for 5 years after I was introduced to this wonderful, insane, egaugnal.

I once saw some code by larryAnd frankly I thought it was scary.I started at fourand shrank from the doorbut struggled until I was merry.

Uh Oh, Update.

As I turned from my desk, my cat Nixie spoke to me and said:

A cat does not know;She is troubled, Not so,cats can !code perl.

you will get the benefit, when you use this (greatshots)

print qq[rlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperl             erlp               perl               lper    lperlperlperlperlperl  rlperlper  erlp  lperlperlperlperl  rlperlperlpe  perl   lperlperlperlperlperl  rlperlper  erlp  lperlperlperlperl  rlperlperlpe  perl   lperlperlperlperlperl  rlperlper  erlp  lperlperlperlperl  rlperlperlpe  perl   lperlperlperlperlperl             erlp               perl               lperl   lperlperlperlperlperl  rlperlperlperlp  lperlperlperlperl  rlperlp  lperlperl   lperlperlperlperlperl  rlperlperlperlp  lperlperlperlperl  rlperlpe  perlperl   lperlperlperlperlperl  rlperlperlperlp  lperlperlperlperl  rlperlper  erlperl   lperlperlperlpe  perl  rlperlperlperlp               perl  rlperlperl     erl                    perlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlperlpe];

Black Perl Revisited (Ovid)

Note: I haven't seen anyone else try this, so if this is duplicated effort, my apologies to the original author.

Many of you are familiar with the famous [http://internet.ls-la.net/comppoems/black-perl.html|Black Perl] poem. This poem, written for Perl 3, appeared on April Fools day, 1990 on Usenet and was purportedly from Larry Wall, though as I recall, the headers were forged. However, it no longer compiles under Perl 5. So I tweaked it. It still doesn't do anything, but it compiles.

BEFOREHAND: close door, each window & exit; wait until time.     open spellbook, study, select it, confess, tell, deny;write it, print the hex while each watches,     reverse "its length", write again;     kill spiders, pop them, chop, split, kill them.          unlink arms, shift, wait & listen (listening, wait),sort the flock (then, warn "the goats". kill "the sheep");     kill them, dump qualms, shift moralities,     values aside, each one;          die sheep, die, reverse system          you accept (reject, respect);next step,     kill next sacrifice, each sacrifice,     wait, redo ritual until "all the spirits are pleased";     do it ("as they say").do it(*everyone***must***participate***in***forbidden**s*e*x*).return last victim; package body;     exit crypt (time, times & "half a time") & close it,     select (quickly) & warn next victim;AFTERWORDS: tell nobody.     wait, wait until time;     wait until next year, next decade;          sleep, sleep, die yourself and          rest at last

Update: and from a friend of mine, for whom I wound up rewriting this because of a couple of misconceptions of his (email reprinted with permission):

I was at a dive bar tonight. They had a poetry reading, open mic. and allowed non-original poetry.

I got on the net and looked up Black Perl.

I read the version at http://internet.ls-la.net/comppoems/black-perl.html. (with full attribution of course)

BROUGHT DOWN THE HOUSE!

Before the read I asked, "Show of hands, how many here are computer programmers?". No hands went up.Then, "How many people here have heard of the programming language 'perl'?". A couple of cheers from the crowd.

I then told the crowd, "perl stands for 'Practical Extraction and Report Language', or, as those who actually program in the language call it,'Pathologically Eclectic Rubbish Lister'"

After explaining that the following poem was written by the creator of perl, I explained, "This poem is NOT written in English. It is written in the programming language 'perl' ",and read.

It won two awards, Best Nonoriginal Poem, and Best Poem of the night. I won Best Presentation. Kudo's to Larry, he made me look good. ;-)

After the reading I was approached by a person who said that the peom couldn't possibly compile. I invited him to download perl from ActiveState and download a copy of the poemwritten for the version of perl that he downloaded and test it for himself. He told me, 'That was a great poem and poems do not compile'. Then came the Zen moment,I said. 'That poem is not a poem'. From one atheist to another, I swear to GOD that is what I said!

He is probably still blinking. ;-)

Update 2: a friend just pointed me to [id://237465].

Cheers,
Ovid

New address of my CGI Course.

My first perl 5-7-5 (EvanCarroll)

Perl five point eight rocks!Point ten lacks pseudo-hashes.Who is upgrading?

Evan Carroll
www.EvanCarroll.com

99 Bottles Of Beer (madbombX)

use constant EMPTY => 0;$bottles{beer} = 99;sub take_one_down { return --$bottles{beer}; }sub pass_around {  print "No more beer\n" and exit($bar)    if ($bottles{beer} eq EMPTY);}print "$bottles{beer} on the wall\n";while ($bottles{beer}) {  take_one_down($bottles{beer});  pass_around($bottles{beer});  print "$bottles{beer} on the wall\n";}

Actually takes the beer off your wall.

No Substitues (madbombX)

foreach (%challenge) {  $i; wait;  $i =~ study each %challenge;  foreach ($programming{language}) {    $i = tr/y/$_/;    $i; push @away and goto Perl;    $no. sub { FOR: { $perl } } if $Perl{exists};  }AND:  foreach ($problem{solved}) {    my $knowledge++ and $Perl{love}++;  }}

Perloween (jimt)

 use strict 'no unwrapped candy';use warnings 'look out for cars';use constant HOME_BY => '8:00';use constant CAN_EAT_TONIGHT => 1;sub halloween {my $self= shift;my $costume = shift or die "Can't have Halloween without a costume!";$self->put_on($costume) or die "Costume doesn't fit, choose another one";my @houses = $self->neighorhood->houses;my $is_dark_out = 0;while ( ! $is_dark_out && @houses ) {my $house = shift @houses;next if $house->owned_by eq 'stranger' || ! $house->light_on;$self->approach($house) or do {warn "House is too scary";next;}my $rc = $house->knock();if ($rc =~ /^tr(ick|eat)$/) {$self->candy->add($rc) if $rc->wrapped;}else {push @{ $self->jerks_i_know }, $house;$self->tp($house) unless $self->mom->watching;}$is_dark_out = 1 if $self->watch->time() > HOME_BY && ! $self->beg_for_more_time;}$self->approach($self->home) or die "Mommy! I'm lost";$self->take_off($costume);my $num_eaten = 0;# note - should re-factor into separate method to be portable to other holidays,# but I'm busy eating sweet, sweet chocolate.EAT_CANDY:while (1) {my $piece = shift @{ $self->candy };$self->eat($piece);$num_eaten++;if ( $self->mom->watching && $num_eaten > CAN_EAT_TONIGHT ) {# note - bug. This method always returns 0.last if ! $self->beg_for_one_more_piece;}}if ($num_eaten > 5) {sleep $self->watch->delta($self->watch->time, "2am");$self->wake_up;$self->throw_up;goto EAT_CANDY;}if ( @{ $self->candy } ) {goto EAT_CANDY;}return $self->wait_for("christmas candy");}

kill bill (Anonymous Monk)

#!/usr/bin/perl# my first Perlish prose, or whatever## declaration:# no harm is intended for anyone# just a freewheeling thought, nothing more#use Carp;my @stuff = ('whatever', 'i', 'have');kill bill;if ('he survives') {    kill dubdya;}kill /all the lawyers/;`whereis my $gun`;foreach my $item (@stuff) {    if ($item eq 'gun') {        `echo 'hooray!'`;        $found_the_gun = 'yes';    }}if ($found_the_gun eq 'yes') {    system("let's do it");}else {  carp "leave this";  `who cares, anyway`;}

shiny and new (jbert)

Red gem flirtation
Mother of perl gains lustre
Its good to be back

B_egi_N oF Wzdm (jesuashok)

#Introductionsub call_right {};#starts hereBEGIN {   $of = 'wisdom is'}&call_right($right,$things,@righttime);

"Keep pouring your ideas"

Life (lin0)

#!/usr/bin/perluse LifeMission::Live;use File::Find;@Life::ISA = qw(Short_Journey);do {  find(\&your_call, @in_life) and live $it;}

perl sucks (qsl)

no more Perl for me, unless less than 40 lines

A day in church. (Anonymous Monk)

Found this line the other day in some source code. Quite egocentric :-)

sub new { bless my $self = {}; }

If my boss ..... (jesuashok)

If my boss writes if, I write then
If my boss writes do, I write while
If my boss writes for, I write foreach
If my boss writes printf, I write print
If my boss writes chomp, I write chop
If my boss writes oct, I write hex
If my boss writes index, I write rindex
If my boss writes uc, I write ucfirst
if my boss writes grep, I write map
If my boss writes push, I write pop
If my boss writes sleep, I write alarm
If my boss writes use, I write require

If my boss uses `cp`, I use File::Copy
If my boss uses `scp`, I use Net::SCP
If my boss uses `mv`, I use File::Rename
If my boss uses `find`, I use File::Find
If my boss uses `grep`, I use File::Grep
If my boss uses `sqlplus`,I use DBD::Oracle
If my boss uses `mysql`, I use DBD::mysql
If my boss uses `telnet`, I use Net::Telnet
If my boss uses `ftp`, I use Net::FTP
If my boss uses `ssh`, I use Net::SSH
If my boss uses `date`, I use Date::Calc

Everone can continue this, as per your knowledge.

"Keep pouring your ideas"

pirate.pl (ciderpunx)

Avast c-dogs!

A bit of fun on Talk like a Pirate Day.

#!/usr/bin/perl$DeadMans{Chest}+=(15*$Man);$YoHoHo and $a, $bottle->{rum};$Drink and $the_Devil; $had_done for ($the_rest);$YoHoHo and $a, $bottle->{rum};

--
charlieharvey.org.uk

Propose to a Girl (jesuashok)

#PERL Program to Propose a girl. add modules as per your wishpackage main;use STD.pmuse ISD.pmuse PCO.pmuse Love.pmuse constant CUTE => beautiful_girl_or_ladies;goto all_colleges_and_universities;$ladies = chomp();if ( $ladies eq Cute ) {$cute_girls_count ++;}while ( !$reply ) {print HEART "I LOVE YOU";$reply = chomp();}if ( $reply !~ /I LOVE YOU/i ) {    goto all_colleges_and_universities;}else {    $lovers_list{$ladies} = 'my_lover';    goto restaurant;}restaurant: {$food++;$smile++;$guy_money->pay = $lover_money->get;goto all_colleges_and_universities;} if ( $time eq '02.30pm' ) {goto cinema;}cinema:{$watch++;if ( $intermission ) {$coke ++;$popcorn ++;$ice_cream++;$guiness ++; # Europe special. Varies depends upon country}}if ( $time eq '06.00pm' ) {    goto park;}park:{for ( $time = '06.00pm'; $time <= '08.30pm'; $time += 0.0001 ) {     $kiss ++; # I can tell only that, it is upto the reader to use any varaibles ;).}} goto home; if ( $time eq '09.30pm' ) {   goto pub;} pub:{$friends ++;$party ++;$booze ++;$smoke ++;if ( $pub->close() ) {   $pay->bill();   $come->out();}if ( $highly->intoxicated ) {goto friendsroom;}else {$sweetpan ++;$polo ++;goto home;}}friendsroom:{      goto sleep;} home:{      if( $mom->shouts() )      {        $reasonfiltered = ( $combinedstudy || $projectwork || $friendsbday );        $say->reason();      }      if( $dad->shouts() ) {$shut->yourmouth();      }      $call->lover();      if( $phone->voice eq ( $lover_dad->voice() || $lover_mom->voice()) )      {         $hang ++;      }      else if( $phone->voice() eq $lover->voice() )      {        for( $time = '12:30' ; $time <= '1.30'; $time += 0.001 )        {           $say->ILuvU() ;           $reply = chomp();        }      }      goto sleep;} sleep:{      $dream = 'love';}

"Keep pouring your ideas"

Considered by [xorl]: Since the plagiarism has been uncovered why don't we reap this node.
Unconsidered by [planetscape]: keep (and edit) votes [id://409197|prevented] reaping ( keep: 10 edit: 1 reap: 12 )

Prayer for new joinees in perl monks (jesuashok)

Dear Perl,

I pray to all the saints, to provide their help.
with their help I become a good saint soon.

"Keep pouring your ideas"

Rampage! (gustavderdrache)

Rar!

kill kill kill;if (not time) {    kill kill kill} else {    die die die}

"If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce" -- Winston Churchill

I am a man (Anonymous Monk)

print qq'Believe me, I am a $man.How to do that?Plz, above all, look down.Belive me, you will see, I am a $man.supergoodK THX BYE'while $man=(qw[man super eloquent artist your])[rand 5];

La la la la la la la la la la

Snippet of RIAA Detection Algorithm (innominate)

#...use File::Find;#...find ({    wanted =>        sub {(            # There's an MP3!!!            /\.mp3/i &&            # but is it legal?            ($host->is_legal || $host->set_illegal)        )    }, '/');if ($host->illegal_file_found) {    # Hooked another one    $host->flag_for_lawsuit;}else {    # They've got to be hiding something,    # flag them anyways.    $host->flag_for_lawsuit;}#...

Perl can be motivational! (Grey Fox)

Regex is (Velaki)

Regex is: the Left Ventricle of Perl.

-v.

"Perl. There is no substitute."

Different Node status (madtoperl)

Hi Monks,

It's time for me to put another one of my imaginatoin.Please read this one and comment about it.

#!/bin/perl-wuse strict;my $searchpath = 'www.perlmonks.com';my $session = 'seekers of perl wisdom';my $status="";foreach my $node (glob("$searchpath/$session/newnode")) {my @files  = split(" ",$node);foreach (@files){chomp;if($_ =~ /exciting$/){$status = 'Approved';}elsif($_ =~ /notmatching$/){$status = 'considered';}elsif($_ =~ /othertopic$/){$status = 'Marked as OT';}}}

Unixian Haiku (Velaki)

they say grep sed awk;
fields whence only were records!
in fall became all perl

-v.
"Perl. There is no substitute."

Can't make up my mind (CaMelRyder)

(rand % rand) ? shit() : get_off_the_pot();

peace from CaMelRyder

For a friend with a new child (radiantmatrix)

There was a girl hacker named Bruss
Whose hair was always a muss
A Perl coder found her,
Wrapped himself around her,
And soon she was hacker++

<–radiant.matrix–>
A collection of thoughts and links from the minds of geeks
The Code that can be seen is not the true Code
I haven't found a problem yet that can't be solved by a well-placed trebuchet

The Great Monk (madtoperl)

Hi

I have wrote this about a monk, what he will do once he is sitting infront of his machine and have a little bit time ,see the poem

#!/usr/bin/perlif($freetime){&searchperlmonks;if($reply eq 'good'){$reputation++;}else{$reputation--;}        print"Reputation=> $reputation\n";}sub searchperlmonks{open nlink, "seekers of perl wisdom";while(){if($node =~ /newnode$/){ if($knowanswer){$replynode = 'true';}else{$replynode = 'false';push(@mind,$newnode);}}}}

Thanks and Regards,
madtoperl.

Ode to a random number (Moron)

#!/usr/bin/perlopen my $dict, ";my $count = 100*rand();{ use integer; $count /= 1; }for ( 0..$count ) {    my $ptr = rand() * $#words;    chomp $words[$ptr];    unless( $_ ) {        $words[ $ptr ] =~ /^(.)(.*)$/;        my $b = uc( $1 );        $words[$ptr ] = $b . $2;    }    if ( $_ < $count ) {        print $words[$ptr] . ' ';    }    else {        print $words[$ptr] . ".\n";    }}

-M

Free your mind

a bug in perl (Anonymous Monk)

print 1+2prints 3must be a bug

Study math (buetow)

Hello!Here another one. This works with Perl v5.8.8 without any compile error also.

#!/usr/bin/perlgoto library for study $math;BEGIN { s/earching/ books/ and read $them, $at, $the } library:our $topics, cos and tan, require strict; import { of, tied $patience };do { int'egrate'; sub trade; };do { exp'onentize' and abs'olutize' };study and study and study and study;foreach $topic ({of, math}) {you, m/ay /go, to, limits }do { not qw/erk / unless $success and m/ove /o;$n and study };do { int'egrate'; sub trade; };do { exp'onentize' and abs'olutize' };study and study and study and study;grep /all/, exp'onents' and cos'inuses';/seek results/ for @all, log'4rithms';'you' =~ m/ay /go, not home unless each %book ne#ars$completion;do { int'egrate'; sub trade; };do { exp'onentize' and abs'olutize' };#athome: //ig,'nore', time and sleep $very =~ s/tr/on/g;__END__

Paul C. Buetow - http://paul.buetow.info

use constant { Perl, 'Programming', all, time }; (buetow)

This works with Perl v5.8.8 without any compile error. But no script output. :( Its a little bit radical against PHP, but well, its only for fun. Dont take it too serious :)

#!/usr/bin/perl my $nation;no warnings; goto hell or die 'PHP!!11';$nation; BEGIN { our $mission and kill if PHP }use constant { Perl, 'Programming', all, time };require abs Perl and not undef$ined; sub knowledges {};hell: warn if PHP and not Perl;heaven: do index all, knowledges if not Perl  and not try { require PHP if defined };require Switch and delete $evil{PHP};Oh_Yes: do { PHP => Perl } for all, time;ref (our $best), knowledges() and listen Perl,power;END { our $mission and return if all }# is donebless [qw/the holy folk of/], Perl for (local $happiness);__END__(C) 2006 by Paul C. Buetow (http://paul.buetow.info)

The hot day !!! (madtoperl)

Hi Monks,
See the poetry and smile...........

#!/usr/bin/perl$bride = 'me';$groom = 'you'if( defined $marriage ){print"HoneyMoon of you and me"}if($place ='Cool Place'){print"Fire may start becz of our heat\n";}open(heart,"/house/");while(){if($mind =~ /matches/){$kisses = 'true';}else{$kisses = 'false';}if($love == 'real'){$child =1;}else{$child =0;}}close(heart);if($child){$life = 'peaceful';}else{$life = 'failure';}

Human Life ?? (madtoperl)

#!/usr/bin/perlselect LIGHT;close PAST;open EYES, 'and see';study $life;tell TRUTH ;# do not lie to yourselfaccept GOOD, BAD;not $let_go or exit or die;bless $life={};seek HAPPINESS, abs$olution, $peace;untie $myself;join 'back', 'humanity';print;print 'I am alive, I am free. Hear me roar, for I am ',` whoami`;# This is where things END{}# This is where things BEGIN{# It is time to return $home; }

you, me and everyone we know (hasimir44)

if you haven't seen the movie, then you're probably thinking that this is idiotic. if you have seen it, then you're probably laughing.

while (1) {  ))<>((   }

The day it was dark!!! (madtoperl)

#!/bin/perluse strict;use warnings;sleep;pipe (drip, drip);listen(drip, drip);kill noises;kill dripping;close pipe soon, NOW;sleep again;listen (drip, drip);sleep (not now);exit (do it);accept destiny, now;alarm neighbors;get the keys now, &;open (up, &survey them);crypt of,darkness;not a single;pipe here,anywhere;

mydog.pl (ciderpunx)

I remember having to translate this joke into German when I was at school, so for the sake of completeness here it is in perl ...

#!/usr/bin/perl($I[say] x 3); my $dog -= 'nose';qw?how does he smell?; ++$terrible;

--
charlieharvey.org.uk

perl is no help (Anonymous Monk)

when hardware fails
spirits need lifting
perl is no help

Definition (TwistedRaisin)

if ($i) {    while ($i) { die(); }}do {    my $last_thought && sleep($quietly);} until $i #am    ne #quid nimis       'sad';$i; #havedefined($me);

The Hokey Cokey (Ciaran_H)

This is the UK version of what most people here will know as the "Hokey Pokey"...

package Hokey::Cokey;sub new { bless {}, $_[0]; }sub AUTOLOAD { return $_[0]; }# ------------package main;my @bodyparts = ('left hand', 'right hand', 'left foot', 'right foot', 'head', 'whole self');my $bodypart;foreach $bodypart (@bodyparts) {  my $r = &WhatIsItAllAbout($bodypart); # ?}sub WhatIsItAllAbout {  my ($bodypart) = @_;  my $hc = new Hokey::Cokey;  sub in { $hc->put($bodypart, 'in'); } ∈  sub out { $hc->put($bodypart, 'out'); } &out;  for (my $i = 0; $i <= 1; $i++) {    ∈    &out;  }  $hc->shakeAllAbout($bodypart);  $hc->doHokeyCokey()->turnAround();  return $hc;   # *that's* what it's all about!}

Student in Home!!! (madtoperl)

#!/usr/local/perluse Data::Dumper;  $disappear = new Data::Dumper   ([],[]);  # welcome to all monkSlocaltime => 'after SNACKS';study child $course or 'watch TV ?';eval $situation;$mother => watch serial;$father => watch TV News;no warnings;$disappear->can( wait );$mother = grep @you, "studying, sleeping";BEGIN{ /The/, speech }grep @reading sound, '';open DISAPER;eof;push @away, Murmuring SOund of sleep!;dump 'into garbage bin';unpack new, disapper;close DISAPPER;

your heart (spencerk)

#/usr/local/bin/perl chomp (my $own);sub dharma(?);sub zero(){defined;}if ($i_am

pure morning (Anonymous Monk)

need( $a->friend )->isa('Friend:indeed')friend (%weed) )

Options in Life! (madtoperl)

#!/usr/bin/perl-w

use strict;
use Getopt::Std qw(getopts);
use LWP::Simple qw(get);
use URI::Escape qw(uri_escape uri_unescape);

sub usage ( ) {
print "usage: Life options values key
options available:
-s Synonymous -a Antonym -b Birth Year
-t Triggers -r Rhymes -d Death Year
-g Generalizes -l Sounds like -T Bio Triggers
-S Specialises -A Anagram of -k Also Known As
-c Comprises -o Occupation of
-p Part of -n Nationality

or -x for all

values is mandatory, but some searches require key\n\n"

}

My Friend and Mine! (madtoperl)

#!/usr/bin/perl

IN BEACH:
listen (seawaves, light arrangements);
open yourself, wide;
join (you, me),
connect (we,together),
if(like me)
tell me the I*love*you.
elsesay lie that "TELL U LATER"
do something if distressed;
@dawn, dance;
@evening, sing;

IN HOME:

read (books,$poems,stories) until peaceful of mind;
study if able;
write me if-you-think me;
sort your feelings, reset goals, seek (friends, family, anyone);
do*not*die (like this)
if sin abounds;

AT LAST

keys (hidden), open (locks, doors), tell secrets;
do not, I-beg-you, close them, yet.
accept (yourself, changes),
bind (grief, despair);
require truth, goodness if-you-will, each moment;
select (always), length(good days)

UR THOUGHTS

if(like this)
reply me
else
be cool my dear friend

order a machine to have sex, love and death? (madtoperl)

' Love was&& love will be if
(I, ever-faithful),
do wait, patiently;
negative, wordly, values disappear,
@last, love triumphs;
join (hands, checkbooks),
pop champagne-corks,
live happily-ever-after.
not so ?
tell me: I listen,
(do-not-hear);
push (rush, hurry) && die lonely if not-careful;
I will wait.
&wait

unix commands and perl modules war (jesuashok)

War Started Between Unix and Perl

unix starts arrowing on perl, let us see how perl tackles that
find -> File::Find
cp -> File::Copy
grep -> File::Grep
df -> Filesys::DiskSpace
rm -> File::Remove
time -> Benchmark
bash -> Shell
set -> debug
ping -> Net::Ping
ftp -> Net::FTP
telnet -> Net::Telnet
sort -> sort
diff -> Text::Diff
unique -> Array::Unique
date -> Time
mail -> Net::SMTP
ssh -> Net::SSH
scp -> Net::SCP
.
.
.
.
.
It goes on

Judges are
-------------
Industiralists
Software Developers
Business men

Result :-
Healthy Competition

"Keep pouring your ideas"

your mom (Anonymous Monk)

#!/usr/bin/perlif ($your_mom) { use Her; }

Sometime Life is like Perl (l.frankline)

Sometime Life is burden carrying with Arrays and Hashes,

Sometime Life is dependent with others like Modules,

Sometime Life Journey is Easy when we get help from PerlMonks.com,

Sometime Life is simple like Perl.

Perl Pal ! (vishi83)

I wonder how my life takes a whirl
restive thoughts and futile dreams having gone with my work
so far its hard-hitting ,
I look to code in you , Perl !
For you can only make me cool
i find you uncomplicated like a child
I marvel at your stunning rules
You're someone I can rely on
Even at my worst, I'm best with you, Perl !

A perl Script without 'strict' is like a House without Roof; Both are not Safe;

C4 and Guntape (zer)

This is something that spawned from a line I came up with that applies to everything that needs fixing.

You can fix anything with a bit of C4 and Guntape! i would say.

So the story goes on...
I was trying to findout if I had extra slots for more memory on my motherboard. I asked my buddy, "Can I find out how many slots are available on my motherboard without pulling out the C4 and Guntape?"

surely enough he showed me how to get it. Smugly he says, "Well, you didnt need to use C4 and Guntape on your PC. But it looks like I need to put some on my Perl."

Low and behold came this bit of coding pun.

#!/usr/bin/perl$perl = C4 and Guntape;print $perl;

To his surprise it worked however not how he expected...
When the program printed out C4 only he said, "WoW! It not only worked but it appears that I dont need Guntape after all!"

My first Perl poem! (puudeli)

Hi all,

I've always been fascinated with Perl's ability to resemble a real spoken languange so here is my first Perl poem ever.

It is a bit naive, but I'm a not a poet :-)

while( exists $true{love} ) {  seek $her, $from, $everywhere;}

Perl Little Star poem (gube)

Hi guys,

I am baby in perl. so, i write this poem in my words.

Perl Little Star poemPerl perl little star, how I wonder language you are?Up above the world so high , like a perl in the skyWhen the blazing language is gone, when language nothing shines upon,Then you show your perl light, perl, perl all the night.Then the developers in the dark, thanks you for your large perl,He could not see which way to go, if you did not perl so.- perl, perl super star

A simple equation (Win)

your $Obfuscation + your $Codification = my @Misunderstandifications;

MarchMadness (zentara)

#!/usr/bin/perluse warnings;use strict;use MarchMadness;use Teams;# module MarchMadness available at CBS.com # module Teams available at NCAA.org our $final_four = new MarchMadness;our @teams;our $vegas = 'excited';for(1..64){ push @teams, new Teams }foreach (@teams){   $_->players->chomp('bit');   $_->fans->hex('opposition');   $_->set('hopes_high' => 1);   $_->alumni->place_bets();}$final_four->set( 'may_best_team_win' => 1);$final_four->set( 'allow_upsets' => 1);while(1){  my $time = localtime;  if( $time eq 'Thu Mar 16 12:00:00 2006' ){       $final_four->tipoff;       last;   }else{ sleep(1) }}$final_four->start_watching;  # mainloop :-)

I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth.flash japh

poverty (eprom.jones)

sub i_spend($loot){   for (1 .. $credit){      $loot -= $bills;   }   shift @ours;}@$mine = ();@ours = map {i_spend($_)} @yours;unless (@ours){  print "someday...\n";}

Woman International Day Clumsy Poetry (monsieur_champs)

#!/usr/bin/perl#### This is just a small and clumsy hommage to all the womans.## Please remember a woman close to you today.## They deserve our appreciation and love this day.## Thanks to my mother, for everything she have done for me,## and mainly to my wife, that allways supportted me and never gave up.##package Woman;use warnings;use strict;use Love;use Kindness;use Patience;use Dedication;use Charm;use Beauty;use Tenderness;use Strenght qw( emmotional physical );use Professionalism;use Persistence;map __PACKAGE__->have( $_ ), qw( Success Love Happyness Self-Realization Equal-Rights );

-- [monsieur_champs]

Lesson for grasshopper haiku (zentara)

I woke up suddenly last night from a wild dream muttering thisto myself

secrets of ying yangcompletely contained inhumble Perl shebang

I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth.flash japh

Emma Goldman One Liner (ciderpunx)

perl -e 'if (not $I{dance}) {not my $revolution;}'

Here's a banner.

--
charlieharvey.org.uk

Gift for mk. (smokemachine)

#!/usr/bin/perlmy %colleague=   ("quality"     =>      "perl skill",                "defect"       =>      "she is otaku",                "birthday"     =>      "22/2");$mila=\%colleague;$mila=my $friend unless $mila->{"defect"} =~ /is otaku/;$today=$day."/".++$month if ($day, $month)=(localtime time)[3,4];$mila="will be my friend" while $mila->{"birthday"} eq $today;print $mila." just today\n"

in 02/22 this print:

will be my friend just today