Did you realize your code was equal to

rand(%{'rand'}) ? shit() : get_off_the_pot();

I noticed the above when I realized that the following would give divide by zero errors.

(rand() % rand()) ? shit() : get_off_the_pot();

The likelyhood that (rand % rand) will return false is one out of 4^randbits... Did you possibly mean (int(rand(2)) or (rand>.5)? (UPD: Typo!)